So for my first ever Wild Clementines review, I will be taking a look at the new horror film The Collector. I can’t say that I’m not a little disappointed, but the two most recent movies I’ve seen are this and The Proposal (wow I’ve picked some good ones lately!). As a brief introduction my name is Kory Rotter, long time reader and commenter on the site, but first time poster. I am a rather fond acquaintance of Mr. Joel Dobbs, Master Kevin Boisclair Esquire, and Benjamin Schwartz III, and it’s an honor to finally join the Wild Clementines crew along with my wonderful damsel, Sara Hayward. She too shall be making her very first submission to the website either this evening or the next. Also, I don’t really talk in such a strange way.

So now that that excessively awkward introduction is over, onto the movie!

Let’s first start out with my expectations. From what I saw of the trailer, I was hoping for a “Saw-esque” type of movie: thrilling, twisty, and of course, gruesome. I knew from the start that the movie wasn’t going to require too much brain activity, but I was hoping that I would be exercising my brain just enough to maybe follow a few twists, or at the very least a moderately interesting storyline. Well, to state it simply, it was like Saw, except that it didn’t have a story..whoops.

The plot was simple, and clearly an afterthought. You can almost imagine the creators of this movie having a conversation:

MR. WRITER (nervously approaching Mr. Director)

So here’s the thing Mr. Director, I tried to write a screenplay, but it sucks, and doesn’t make any sense!

MR. DIRECTOR (reassuring Mr. Writer)

That’s okay Mr. Writer! We’ll just fill in the plot holes with grotesque traps and torture! How does that sound Mr. Producer?

MR. PRODUCER (jubilant)

Yay! That sounds like horror movie gold!

Sadly, Mr. Producer is correct in identifying the kind of movies that pass as horror films these days. Ever since the mainstream appeal of incredibly graphic horror films like Saw, The Hills Have Eyes, and Hostel, writers have continued to lower their standards of what an acceptable storyline is. The Collector is a prime example of a movie made solely off a catchy premise that is never elaborated on, but is simply used as a backdrop for the horrible gore that is sure to ensue. In the case of The Collector, the catchy premise was a psycho who tortures and collects people (wow, did I really even need to stay past the opening title?). I could really go on for hours about this topic, but I’ll just keep it short in saying that I want to see more movies like The Orphanage (not The Orphan), and Let The Right One In. Hm..interesting trend going on there anyone?

As far as the acting in the movie, I was pretty neutral. Could have been worse, but it also could have been a lot better. I feel that a lot of the acting that takes place in horror films needs to be right off the cuff because of the fast paced and wild nature of the scenes. To their credit, the cast seemed to be giving a shot at being natural and improvisational, but the fact that I even noticed they were trying indicates to me that they need more work. However, it’s still better than cheesy, scripted one-liners that leave you short of breath from laughter.

Now that I’ve decreased the already slim chances you would have paid money to see this movie in theaters, I’ll tell you some things I liked about the movie. It was moderately thrilling. The director clearly did his homework in suspense 101, and some of the scenes were actually almost artistic, offering overhead views of suspenseful chase scenes between rooms in the house. Another thing I enjoyed was the gore. I’m not much of a “blood and guts” junkie, but any movie that can make me squirm in my chair, or make Sara squeeze my arm until it falls off (got it reattached no worries), has done its job in that category. One last thing I thought the movie did well was create a real feeling of good vs. evil. I truly wanted the main characters to beat the psycho. I find that a lot of times with these kinds of movies that the main characters are so annoying that I’m hoping they’ll die by the end of the movie.

To summarize The Collector, it was a pretty poorly put together horror film; lots of gore, but no substance. I was disappointed to find that there was no real twist in the film, and the storyline that I hoped would make me think a little bit, actually hurt my brain because it made such little sense. It’s simplicity was its downfall because there were plot holes abound, and if there is one thing I can’t stand it’s a movie that leaves me with burning questions like “Wait what happened to that person?” Or, “Why didn’t the main character just do x, y, or z to easily kill the psycho?” Or my favorite, just simply“Why?..” Because the movie offered such little information about the killer and why he did what he did, I couldn’t take a real interest in what was going on in the movie. It was mostly just a series of brutal tortures and booby traps that only really succeeded in keeping me on the edge of my seat making my stomach slightly queasy. Where Saw was able to float above the sea of terrible horror movies these days, The Collector sunk like a ton of bricks. See this movie if you feel like making remarks like “ow!” “ew!” or “grossss.” But don’t see this movie if you feel like making remarks like “Wow that was a good movie that had a compelling plot, great acting, and was worth paying money to see!”

423/1000

-Kory

1. Ben Says:
   August 8th, 2009 at 9:07 pm

   damsel? really kory?

2. admin Says:
   August 15th, 2009 at 11:37 pm

   yes…really.